Weird

When a friendship takes a turn for the worse, I am a confusing person on the physical level, being that I am the touchy-feely-physical-reassurance-seeker type. When I feel guilty it is even worse. Sometimes when I am mad at someone, or feel disconnected from them, I throw out all the wrong signals. I am sick of feeling guilty about that too. I am fucking weird.

Feeling pretty good about the breaks.

Cutting down on everything non essential. Including sugar and fat and gaming, at least until the New Year. Lots of real life drama has reminded me, again (how many times am I going to lose sight of the important stuff, only to be smacked around when reality hits?), how much I am attracted to made-up drama: the kind of stuff that we are drawn to and blow out of proportion when nothing interesting is going on. It is comparable to World of Warcraft's false sense of accomplishment. I am looking forward to coming back with a little more in reserve, at least to gaming, in February. It really isn't tat far away. Never going to have perspective on chocolate though! I don't even know what that would feel like!!